The Gift of Hope

Christmas 2022 will always be remembered as the year we received the gift of hope.

Our move to Hickory Grove in July of 2021 was intended to be temporary, so we have never fully unpacked. All of our Christmas decorations are buried deep in my brother’s basement along with many of our other belongings. I recall that last Christmas, as we dug out our tree and ornaments, we did our best to surround ourselves with the familiar comforts of home. Neil and I thought surely next year we would be celebrating in our own new home. But a few months later, our priorities shifted.

During Neil’s long weeks of cancer treatment in New York City and Baltimore, I kept longing for my home. My heart ached terribly, and I began to miss the house we sold. I missed having a place of our own, a space to surround myself with familiar objects and memories. We both loved Hickory Grove, but knew that it was not our home, but my brother’s.

Home vs. Haven

As we unpacked and then re-packed every two weeks for Neil’s stay in the hospital, Hickory Grove became our home base. We looked forward to the brief times we could sleep in our own bed and enjoy the garden and farm pond. But while we were living at Neil’s sister’s home in the Bronx, and then later at Johns Hopkins for 5 weeks, we traded home for a haven. Our vision of home became less about our dream space and more about a safe resting place. We embraced  any harbor in the storm, or in this case, any place other than a hospital room. We learned to adapt our expectations and focused our prayers on Neil’s healing. And throughout this trial, the Lord offered us the gift of hope.

Hickory Grove began to feel more like home to us. Even Gipper, our ginger tabby cat, seemed settled and happy. He provided unconditional love and companionship to my brother while we were away for weeks at a time. And Neil had his honeybees, the Victory Garden and a pond full of bass waiting for him between chemotherapy sessions.

Remission

In July, Neil’s brain MRI showed no evidence of disease – or in cancer lingo – “NED”.  But since Central Nervous System Lymphoma has a high rate of recurrence, we were told that a stem cell transplant offered his best chance at long-term remission. We trusted our physicians and again leaned on the Lord to get Neil through the most difficult challenge of his life. Prayers were answered.

Neil survived and is growing stronger each day. He has high expectations for his recovery timeline, and I often need to remind him how far he has come. We have learned to take each day as it comes and accept each step as a victory, no matter how small.

Christmas Present

During the weeks leading up to Christmas, I read the book The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom.  In the first chapter, one paragraph struck my heart and made me reflect on my concept of home:

Childhood scenes rushed back at me out of the night, strangely close and urgent. Today I know that such memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do. – Corrie Ten Boom

Our Christmas celebration was small this year. We were joined by our daughter and son-in-law, and their little dog, Kylo. Once again, we dug out our Christmas tree and a few familiar decorations. But one particular handmade ornament meant so much more to us this year, especially when Neil was able to hang it on the tree himself.

Lord willing, Neil and I have many years ahead of us to figure out where we will eventually unpack our earthly belongings. But God will need to lead us forward and show us what he wants us to do with our personal experiences from the past year. Through His gift of hope, we have been given an opportunity to share that hope and give back to others.

Simple Joys in Life

 

December is upon us and Neil and I are easing back into life at Hickory Grove. It’s been restful and relaxing . . . everything that hospital life was not. We’ve been blessed with mild weather since arriving home, and we are drinking in the fresh air, sunshine and simple joys of country life.

Bird World

I’m sure the backyard photo above seems very similar to one I posted on January 1, 2022, but it represents one of the simple joys in my life: birds. This backyard view of Hickory Grove was the one I missed most during our long stay at Johns Hopkins. It represents peace, tranquility and my love of nature. Moments after taking this photo, the feeders were a blur of activity. Unfortunately my old iPhone 7 does not zoom very well, otherwise you’d be viewing a variety of bird photos. Hickory Grove is home to many wild birds, including nuthatches, titmice, cardinals, chickadees and at least five species of woodpeckers. Chickadees are my favorite, mainly because they are so entertaining to watch. Neil calls them “bully birds” because they chase away many of the other smaller birds from the feeding stations.

Morning Joe

While bird-watching from the kitchen window, I enjoy another simple joy in my life: my morning coffee. Coffee was hit-or-miss during our stay in Baltimore, depending on where I was each morning. Sometimes I had access to a Keurig in the outpatient clinic, so I would bring along my trusty travel mug, K-cup, sugar and creamer. Other days I went without coffee rather than brew an entire pot in our apartment.

You see, I am a “single-cupper”, so drinking coffee is less of a morning buzz for me and more of a savoring experience. I need to sip it while enjoying some sort of view. Unfortunately, there was never a window view at Johns Hopkins other than another brick building.

On our first morning back home, I opened the kitchen cupboard to find my favorite coffee mug. I have quite an assortment of cups and mugs, but my morning coffee always tastes best in the bunny mug. Our daughter gave it to me as a gift some years ago and it’s very special to me. Don’t you love that there is not only a rabbit on the outside of the mug, but also a tiny bunny inside? This mug also makes me smile because I think about our daughter’s two rabbits, Max and Charlie. They are forever getting into mischief!

Coming Home

This Christmas season, I am truly grateful for all the simple joys in life.

My concept of “home” has forever been altered by the events of the past year. Our plans last December were focused on finding a new home with a view that included pelicans and swaying palms. But plans change. I have no idea whether our former snowbird plans will ever come to pass. They may simply be on hold. In the meantime, Hickory Grove is our current home and I am definitely enjoying the view.