Fear Not

Life sure is full of changes.

Two weeks ago my brother moved our mom into a permanent nursing home. This happened while we were overseas in Israel. A bed became available, so he had to move quickly. I felt badly that I was not there to help with the transition, but the timing was beyond my control.

Our family knew we were heading in that direction ever since Mom’s second fall right after Christmas. Unlike her first broken hip, this was not a simple replacement. This surgery required rods and pins, followed by a 7-week stay in a rehab facility. Her dementia seemed to fast track after her return home, and it was apparent she had forgotten how to complete the most basic self-care tasks.

This story may hit home for some of you. I have friends and other family members who are only too familiar with Alzheimer’s and dementia. In addition to the physical deterioration, the disease steals precious memories. That has been the hardest thing for my brother and I to witness. When that recognition and connection disappears, you suddenly feel as though a stranger has replaced your loved one.

As I seek ways to cope with this change, I have discovered something that brings me comfort. My mom has forgotten how to worry. The things that once caused her to fret are no longer important. She enjoys living and has no idea that she is no longer her former self. Her nurses tell us that she is so much fun to be around, that she makes them laugh. She tries to dance through her physical therapy, and loves joining in the daily games and activities. She still lights up when my brother or I walk in the room. There is still that brief glimmer of recognition followed by joy that we treasure so much.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” — ‭Matthew‬ ‭6:25-27‬

Seeing our mom so content has also helped us to shed our own worries. Caring for her had been a huge challenge — particularly for my brother — for the past 8-10 years as Mom’s disease has progressed. I realized that this move, regardless of the timing, was truly an answer to prayer. As I stood with my forehead pressed against the Western Wall in Jerusalem back on July 7th, I asked God to help us care for our mother and to guide our decisions. When I returned home, my brother and I realized that our greatest prayer had been answered within days of that visit. Simply amazing.

Whatever trial you may be facing in life, please do not give up. Place your worries before throne of the Lord. Allow Him to care for you, even as he cares for every tiny sparrow.

3 thoughts on “Fear Not

  1. A deep subject to think about, and this is something most of us think about as we enter our own elder years. I am glad you posted this, Dawn. it will be a comfort to so many people.
    In recent years I have read some testimony from caregivers that MUSIC can be a great comfort to Alzheimers/dementia patients. Sometimes it can even instigate a brief (but passing) return of memory, and sometimes the patient will actually exhibit great joy in remembering the words and singing them aloud.
    Perhaps another reason the Lord has given us music;–a question I’ve pondered, for music does bring such joy to the human spirit.

    • Dawn says:

      Yes! I agree 100% that music brings great comfort and joy to dementia patients. We have witnessed it firsthand. My mom loves all kinds of music, especially anything from the 50’s, or what my generation calls “oldies”. Her toes are always a-tappin’ when there is music playing. Music is mentioned throughout the Bible, and a great many people who have had near-death experiences mention the angelic voices and choirs in heaven. What a beautiful gift from the Lord!

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