A World of Difference

Around the time of my last post, I was awaiting lab results following a recent visit to my new primary care physician. My 60th birthday had passed and I knew it was time to take my health more seriously. This long overdue visit was the first step, but only part of a larger goal. I decided to focus on something we all neglect when life gets busy: self-care.

By “self” care, I mean taking care of myself in a more intentional way. This is a challenging pivot, especially after the stress of the past 12 months. I had been so focused on my husband’s care during the past year that I neglected my own health. I’ve heard this same story from many other caregivers. We delay important annual check-ups and diagnostic tests with the promise that we will “get around to it” later.

When I finally sat down with my PCP, I learned just how far my personal health had deteriorated. There was nothing life-threatening yet, but it was a wake-up call to make some overdue changes. This is where self-care comes in.

According to one AI summarizer, “self-care is the practice of taking care of oneself to improve both physical and mental health. It involves engaging in activities that promote well-being, reduce stress, and enhance one’s ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively.”

Sounds easy, right?

For me, the planning was the easy part. I am all about researching, organizing and scheduling. The  actual doing part is another story.

Part 1: Physical Self-Care

My greatest challenge was finding a way to begin exercising again. I love my brother’s home, but we are living on top of each other with many of our belongings still packed in boxes where there would have been open space to work out. And walking is out of the question. Our street is narrow and winding with no shoulder or sidewalks. It is also a popular shortcut between two exits on the busy interstate, so no one follows the speed limit. That left only one option: joining a gym.

Before Neil lost his job, I toured a gym that is associated with our local hospital. It checked all the boxes. It was only 10 minutes from home, had an indoor track, tons of cardio and weight machines, two pools and lots of exercise classes. The cost was affordable at the time. But then Neil lost his job and I never went back.

After my doctor visit, I went back to the gym’s website. I remembered that they offered a supervised 8-week workout program for people with specific health needs. It was an affordable option and provided a monthly discount should I decide to continue on with a full membership. I downloaded the application and asked my doctor to sign me up for the FitRx cardiovascular program. She was thrilled that I was taking this proactive approach!

On April 3rd I began my physical journey to better health. It was my first, and most difficult step in self-care.

Part 2: Spiritual Self-Care

That took care of my physical need, but what about my mental — or more importantly — my spiritual self-care? Well, the Lord stepped in and provided for that hole in my life as well. On a Sunday morning, I was approached by two different ladies after church, asking our family to join their small group. (A small group is a close-knit community of believers that meet regularly to strengthen their faith and help navigate life from a Christ-centered perspective.) Ironically, God knew that my spiritual self-care would require the involvement of my Christian brothers and sisters. He knew that I was starved for fellowship and a deeper relationship with Him. He was right!

Of course the backdrop of Hickory Grove provides a space for healing and rejuvenation every day.

The Result

It’s been about 11 weeks since I began this self-care journey. During that time I’ve discovered that I love going to the gym and I look forward to going at least 4 days each week. It’s a unique place because there are many people engaged in physical and rehabilitative therapy, some with trainers, others some self-guided. There are all ages and abilities, sizes and shapes, so everyone fits right in. I never feel embarrassed to ask for help, and I am trying new things every day. My lab numbers are slowly improving, I have more strength and energy, and I’ve dropped almost 10 pounds along the way.

Our small group is a wonderful gathering of new friends, and I am learning more about God’s grace and how much He cares for me.  We come together to share a common meal, study the Bible and discuss challenging topics of faith. Before parting we always pray for one another, and we carry these prayer needs in our hearts until we meet again.

In conclusion, I’ve learned that self-care isn’t a weekend retreat or a day at the spa. It’s a lifelong commitment to caring for and nurturing the person God created you to be.

Hindsight: A Spiritual Journey

If only I knew then what I know now.

Let’s be honest. Dawn’s New Day does not have a huge following. Most of the world had no idea that I stepped away from blogging for 11 months. Well, actually, it wasn’t truly an absence because my blog simply shifted to another platform that was shared with my husband, Neil. Turns out, he’s quite a writer himself!

I’m going to pause here while you take a moment and read my last two posts. They are both very short. Even if you have been following along the past year’s journey, please read both posts beginning with the November 15, 2021 post, followed by the January 1, 2022 post. (I’ve archived everything before Nov. 15, 2021 as I prepared to launch this updated site.)

Gipper and I will wait . . .

What Happened Next

Everyone fears the word ‘cancer’ because it is such a beast. It comes without warning, ravaging the body and devastating lives.

The future plans that I had shared openly here were dashed in an instant.

In the span of nearly 11 months between my New Year’s Day post and today, my husband journeyed to hell and back. There is no other way to describe it . During those endless months of chemotherapy, Neil had to continually remind himself that the goal was to kill the cancer, not the patient. He will tell you that there were days though when death seemed to be winning.

Overnight I became my husband’s nurse and full-time caregiver. I quickly learned that they are one in the same. With little to no training (and a scarce amount of sleep), my new life revolved around checking for fevers, dispensing medications, emptying sick bins and flushing catheters. I was also tasked with making transportation and housing arrangements for out-of-state cancer treatments.

Now that I have walked this lonely journey, I have the utmost respect for anyone who has stepped into this role of caregiver. It was not by choice, but there was no one else I would have entrusted Neil’s care. It was a grueling test of our wedding vow, “in sickness and in health”, a promise spoken 40 years ago.

God’s Steadfast Love

Hindsight is not only 20-20, but for us it is a literal flip from life before and after. Cancer did not win. Today we are both able to look back and say that we witnessed the hand of God at every turn. The Lord did not cause Neil’s suffering, but He clearly knew how to shelter us throughout the storm. Our faith was challenged, but we both learned not to question God’s timing or His plan. We will never forget God’s steadfast love and constant care, and will share it with others at every opportunity.

Thankfully, we are now on the other side and brighter days are ahead.

There is much more to the story. To read more about Neil’s cancer journey, visit our CNS Lymphoma page.