A World of Difference

Around the time of my last post, I was awaiting lab results following a recent visit to my new primary care physician. My 60th birthday had passed and I knew it was time to take my health more seriously. This long overdue visit was the first step, but only part of a larger goal. I decided to focus on something we all neglect when life gets busy: self-care.

By “self” care, I mean taking care of myself in a more intentional way. This is a challenging pivot, especially after the stress of the past 12 months. I had been so focused on my husband’s care during the past year that I neglected my own health. I’ve heard this same story from many other caregivers. We delay important annual check-ups and diagnostic tests with the promise that we will “get around to it” later.

When I finally sat down with my PCP, I learned just how far my personal health had deteriorated. There was nothing life-threatening yet, but it was a wake-up call to make some overdue changes. This is where self-care comes in.

According to one AI summarizer, “self-care is the practice of taking care of oneself to improve both physical and mental health. It involves engaging in activities that promote well-being, reduce stress, and enhance one’s ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively.”

Sounds easy, right?

For me, the planning was the easy part. I am all about researching, organizing and scheduling. The  actual doing part is another story.

Part 1: Physical Self-Care

My greatest challenge was finding a way to begin exercising again. I love my brother’s home, but we are living on top of each other with many of our belongings still packed in boxes where there would have been open space to work out. And walking is out of the question. Our street is narrow and winding with no shoulder or sidewalks. It is also a popular shortcut between two exits on the busy interstate, so no one follows the speed limit. That left only one option: joining a gym.

Before Neil lost his job, I toured a gym that is associated with our local hospital. It checked all the boxes. It was only 10 minutes from home, had an indoor track, tons of cardio and weight machines, two pools and lots of exercise classes. The cost was affordable at the time. But then Neil lost his job and I never went back.

After my doctor visit, I went back to the gym’s website. I remembered that they offered a supervised 8-week workout program for people with specific health needs. It was an affordable option and provided a monthly discount should I decide to continue on with a full membership. I downloaded the application and asked my doctor to sign me up for the FitRx cardiovascular program. She was thrilled that I was taking this proactive approach!

On April 3rd I began my physical journey to better health. It was my first, and most difficult step in self-care.

Part 2: Spiritual Self-Care

That took care of my physical need, but what about my mental — or more importantly — my spiritual self-care? Well, the Lord stepped in and provided for that hole in my life as well. On a Sunday morning, I was approached by two different ladies after church, asking our family to join their small group. (A small group is a close-knit community of believers that meet regularly to strengthen their faith and help navigate life from a Christ-centered perspective.) Ironically, God knew that my spiritual self-care would require the involvement of my Christian brothers and sisters. He knew that I was starved for fellowship and a deeper relationship with Him. He was right!

Of course the backdrop of Hickory Grove provides a space for healing and rejuvenation every day.

The Result

It’s been about 11 weeks since I began this self-care journey. During that time I’ve discovered that I love going to the gym and I look forward to going at least 4 days each week. It’s a unique place because there are many people engaged in physical and rehabilitative therapy, some with trainers, others some self-guided. There are all ages and abilities, sizes and shapes, so everyone fits right in. I never feel embarrassed to ask for help, and I am trying new things every day. My lab numbers are slowly improving, I have more strength and energy, and I’ve dropped almost 10 pounds along the way.

Our small group is a wonderful gathering of new friends, and I am learning more about God’s grace and how much He cares for me.  We come together to share a common meal, study the Bible and discuss challenging topics of faith. Before parting we always pray for one another, and we carry these prayer needs in our hearts until we meet again.

In conclusion, I’ve learned that self-care isn’t a weekend retreat or a day at the spa. It’s a lifelong commitment to caring for and nurturing the person God created you to be.

Four Seasons of Winter

“This year’s felt like four seasons of winter . . . “

I was out running errands when I heard those song lyrics on the radio. The temperature outside was typical for mid-March in the Shenandoah Valley, upper 30’s along with 40 mph wind gusts. The next day was expected to be in the mid 60’s. Even though we’ve come to expect this roller-coaster weather, we always look forward to flipping the calendar to April. There are times though when it certainly feels like four seasons of winter!

But this post is not about the weather. In three days we will reach the one year milestone marking the beginning of Neil’s cancer journey.  Looking back at my calendar and recalling all that has transpired over the past 12 months, I marvel at how far we have come. It is truly by the grace of God that my husband not only survived the grueling chemotherapy and stem cell transplant, but is in remission.

Spring Thaw

Neil’s four seasons of winter are over, along with the lingering side effects of cancer treatment. Always cold, he shivered his way through January and February, and is ready to shed the extra layers of clothing and head out into the warm sunshine. Hickory Grove’s garden beds are waiting, and the chicken coop is ready for its first residents. It’s time to embrace life once again.

This journey has taught us both what is important in life, and we are different people than we were on March 25, 2022. On Saturday we will give gratitude and quietly celebrate our survival together through four endless seasons of winter. Neil’s only request is to enjoy two of his favorite pastimes — wandering through antique shops and spending time with family. I will gladly tag along!